Frustration

Yesterday was as Andrew in the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day book would say a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad day. It was one of those days we all have; there were more things to do than there were hours in the day. I was busy from the time I got up until the time I went to bed. It seemed that no matter how much I got done, there was still an overwhelming amount left to do. And to top it off I felt like no one was doing their part to help out. I was frustrated. As I laid down last night with the events of my day roaring in my mind, I felt a scripture verse come into my mind. Philippians 4:8 popped into my head: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." I knew this was the Lord trying to help me get past my frustrating day. Part of me rebelled, 'no these people did me wrong today' and my mind didn't want to relinquish control over those things. So I tried to find one of the things in the verse to think about.

Whatever is true comes first in the verse. True. What does the word true mean? Dictionary.com defines true with three different meanings: 1. being in accordance with the actual state or conditions; conforming to reality or fact; not false: a true story. 2.real; genuine; authentic: true gold; true feelings. 3.sincere; not deceitful: Well, the actual state or condition of my mind last night was pretty frustrated. Which is why I was having a hard time focusing on the verse. That much was true for sure. I'm just being honest here, I had been hard pressed during the day not to let my frustration bubble over onto the people in my life. Sometimes my frustration comes out on people and I am trying very hard to break that. I am not always successful. Most of the time I just clam up and don't say anything because I don't want to let my tongue have control because what it says won't be very kind and loving. The next definition is real, genuine, authentic. Well, I was genuinely frustrated and it felt very real. But then I started thinking, what has caused my frustration today? People not doing their jobs and people not helping me out. Well, that in reality is more their issue than it is mine. I was doing my part, really more than my part. But, that is MY problem. I wasn't holding people accountable for THEIR part of the job. That's why my frustration was creeping in. Why do I have to hold others accountable for THEIR actions? I am not very good at that. Something to pray about for sure. The next definition is sincere; not deceitful. Well, I felt sincerely frustrated. But the next part, not deceitful, hmmmmm, were these feelings true feelings or had I allowed Satan to creep in and point out other people's flaws to me? Instead of the true facts of my life, I was allowing Satan to point other all these things that other people had done to me. That is certainly not God's will for our lives - to be focused on other's flaws. We should be seeking the good in people and bringing it out and not pointing out the bad. I know God's truth about me, I am fearfully and wonderfully made and so on and so forth but all those things felt empty, like useless platitudes last night. I found my brain going yeah, yeah, yeah I know that. And then I stopped in my tracks. WAIT A MINUTE, I AM fearfully and wonderfully made, God DOES want the best for me so why am I blowing by that like it's meaningless because it's not!

The next part of the scripture is whatever is noble. Noble is defined as distinguished by rank. I couldn't find anything noble in my life. I'm not noble, I am an ordinary Mom living an ordinary life in an ordinary house on an ordinary street. But then I thought, wait a minute, I am as the Matthew West song says a "Child of the One True King." I am a child of God, wholly loved. God gave his son to die for me! He put my life before his own Son's life. That in itself makes me noble. Wow. Ok God I am listening.

Next comes whatever is right. Right is defined as what is good, proper or just. This one was hard. What is right, good, proper or just in my life? Many things really. This was where I started to feel the platitudes again and my brain was saying yeah, yeah, yeah I know I've got it good. I had to once again stop my brain from going there. My brain wanted to focus on the frustration, and let the anger out but that was the evil one trying to take over my thoughts. The reality is there are a lot of things right in my life. I am free. I am free to make choices. I am free to worship. I am free not to worship. Some people don't have those rights. I am blessed.

Whatever is pure comes next. What is pure in my life my brain thought? Pure is defined as free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind. The most pure thing in my life is God's love for me, there is nothing purer than that in my life and I know God loves me.

Whatever is lovely comes next. I think lovely comes in different forms for different people. Lovely is defined as exquisitely beautiful. What is beautiful to me may not be beautiful to you or anyone else for that matter. So what is lovely in my life? There are so many things in my life that are lovely it's impossible to list them all here.

By the time I got through all of these things thinking about each one separately, (although my brain was crying out many times but what about all these injustices heaped on you throughout the day?) I was able to let my frustration go and go to sleep without dwelling for hours on all of the things that had happened to me. (Which is what I would have usually done.) I would have tossed and turned, replaying the events of the day and allowing my bitterness and anger to take root in my brain. Part of my brain was crying out in righteous indignation shouting "but that's not fair!" But that is not God's will for our lives. He wants us to focus our thoughts on things that are true, noble, right, pure and lovely. And I bet that if you think long and hard about those things you can find them in your life even if your brain doesn't want to listen, doesn't want to let go of the anger and bitterness. If you focus long enough on all of the good in your life you CAN overcome the frustrating parts of your life. God certainly did not promise a life without turmoil but we don't have to let that turmoil control our lives and our brains. We are loved for who we are no matter how frustrating our days are. I think it's ok to feel frustration as long as we don't hold onto it like a badge of honor.  We should see it for what it is, just a momentary feeling that doesn't have the final say in our life. It's the evil one trying to bring us down. Sometimes it's hard to remember that it is just that. The evil one. I won't pretend that I always get it right. This morning my brain wanted to pick the drum back up again and beat it that I was wronged yesterday. I am reminding myself of all of the things in my life that true, noble, right, pure and lovely and focusing on those things.